The Sith'ari
by PinkRangerV
Summary: The Jedi have a Chosen One. The Sith have the Sith'ari, pledged to revitalize the Sith order. Leia has nightmares and PTSD. And yet somehow all these things fit together...AU.
1. Prologue

A\N: After vanishing for ages, I return! This is an AU story revolving mostly around Leia and the idea of a Sith'ari, drawing heavily on the EU. I'm slightly unsure of this, so let me know what you think by reviewing, please. I'll include author's notes when\if I have links to extra stuff, by the way.

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><p><em>...Through victory, my chains are broken.\ The Force shall free me.<em> -Sith Code

_The Sith'ari will be free of limits.\ The Sith'ari will lead the Sith and destroy them.\ The Sith'ari will raise the Sith from the dead and destroy them._ -Prophecy of the Sith'ari, Kissai People as translated by Sorzus Syn

_Mammon Hoole ran._

_Tash and Zak were safe; he had other treasures to protect now, but a Sith Lord on his heels never boded well. Few people survived Darth Vader's wrath. Even he had only evaded it._

_Now it looked like payment was due..._

_If there was a Force, if Tash's childish dreams were right, Hoole sent a quiet prayer to it, that he might meet the people of Kiva and atone for what he'd done. He should never have trusted Grog, no matter what anyone said. When this was over..._

_Hoole stumbled. The acid rains of this planet formed into small rivers at night; this one had a riged lip along its bank._

_The bag spilled from his arms, precious cubes spilling out._

_Hoole reached out, gathering them up, but it wasn't quick enough. The Dark Lord of the Sith came to a stop a few feet away, studying Hoole._

_Hoole hesitated, then finished picking up the cubes, taking the bag in his hands as he rose. He was Shi'ido. His emotions were for his niece and nephew._

_An image floated into his mind of them; Zak, calm and sure, dark eyes dancing as he played some dangerous stunt, with Tash's sun-gold hair glinting as she studied devotedly, his brother-children proving kind, levelheaded, and steadfast, growing into adults he, and his brother, could be proud of._

_Hoole extended the sack._

_It floated out of his hands. Hoole did not display surprise, simply studying, in awe, the Force which he had done so much to keep alive. It was so strange, this final reward..._

"_A wise move." Vader's rumble broke into Hoole's thoughts. The Dark Lord raised a cube, concentrating._

_The cheap plastic did nothing, because it was no holocron. It was only a fake._

_Vader looked at Hoole. Hoole looked back, impassively._

"_Where are they?" Vader asked, his voice gone lower._

_Hoole spread his hands. "I didn't ask."_

_Vader raised his lightsaber. Hoole looked up, to the sky, to the thousands he wanted to help and protect in his work._

_To the sky Tash and Zak had traveled for so long._

_Vader sensed the images as he sliced Hoole apart. The anthropologist's last thoughts had been for his niece and nephew. How interesting...the girl who dreamed of Jedi, and her brother, here?_

_...They had the holocrons._

_Vader turned to the city, leaving the corpse behind him. The acid rains would wash him away._

_He had holocrons to find._


	2. Chapter 1

Waking screaming from nightmares was a holodrama director's trick, nothing more. People woke from nightmares still and silent.

Leia stared at the Falcon's ceiling and waited for her mind to clear.

Here, in the darkness, the screams of the damned pressed in on her mind more strongly than ever. It was why she didn't sleep; in daytime, Leia's mind was clear. She saw the world through a thick fog, but her mind was clear enough to function, to snipe at people, to...

To exist, maybe?

Leia turned onto her side and waited for sleep to claim her again.

She didn't want to sleep. She preferred stimpills or kaffe. Neither was an option. She had a mission tomorrow-rescuing the Arranda twins, children who she'd met while dealing with Project Starscream, and who had ultimately helped defeat it-and stimulants couldn't replicate the effects of real sleep.

Leia sighed and tried to clear her mind. Luke had taught her some meditation techniques that were supposed to help, and Leia tried to focus, to clear her mind. The screams were deafening, and she shoved them aside.

Tonight it was harder than ever. The metal walls of the Falcon, without Han and Chewie and Luke and Threepio and Artoo there to cheer her up, where too much like the Death Star's walls; in the dark she could see the interrogation droid again-

"There is no emotion, there is peace." Leia whispered, chanting the Jedi Code. In the old days, we were all Jedi, Bail had told her once with a rueful grin. All firm believers in the power of the Force. "There is no ignorance, there is knowledge..."

Over and over and over, silencing the voices, driving them away, pushing, and Leia found the quiet, blank space of her mind, the empty darkness. This wasn't...it wasn't Dark. It was a shadow, like shade from a hot sun.

Leia closed her eyes, sighing. Only a few more hours, and she'd have worked up to eight. That was enough for a mission.

Only a few more hours...

Mern-42 was a planet that had been captured by a quasar. The resulting pressure drove the temperature up so high that, for 'daytime', the acidic oceans formed thick clouds. It took the oval nature of the orbit to bring 'nighttime' and acid rains that washed solid rock into new formations like warm plastic.

At the moment, it was the edge of that cycle, and the inhabitants of Mern-42, mostly workers who excavated the precious minerals and heavy metals below the surface, were heading underground to wait out the cycle. Only the top layer of rock was melted by the short-lived rains; miners could endure three days without any other contact, and being packed in the underground cities reportedly led to close, powerful bonds of friendship.

Tash and Zak Arranda would stick out like a sore thumb.

Leia felt more awake than she had for months, the fog of her mind long gone. Maybe it was just the blessings of sleep. She only needed one cup of kaffe to function properly, and it was still far too early, in her opinion, to be awake at all.

She glanced around. In a galaxy of human dominance, Chewie, Threepio, and Artoo were too obvious on a mining colony, since they wouldn't be employed. Even a woman like Leia risked suspicion, but humans could be excused as offworld, first-time traders who'd accidentally come at the wrong time. Wookies and droids would push that excuse too far.

Imperials were everywhere. Leia pulled her shawl a bit more closely around her head, leaning into Luke's side. He kept his arm snugly around her, the presence of a safe harbor radiating in Leia's head again. No wonder people had loved Jedi, if their presence was so homelike and familiar all at once.

"There." Luke whispered.

They were relying on him to sense Tash, and through her, Zak. It looked like they weren't going to be disappointed; the two were older, but Leia could match them with her oddly faint memories...

...No. Project Starscream was not a faint memory. And that was what they matched.

Vader's face as he hissed that the Alliance had sold her out for a few moments of safety sprang into her mind, her horror as she realized the Alliance, the entire point of the Alliance, had utterly failed, the vision of planet after planet exploding because no one would protect them...

'Eppon' had been a creative little Sithspawn.

Leia pulled herself away from that memory. There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.

Luke caught Tash's mental eye with a flick of thought. Tash lit up, tapping Zak on the shoulder, and Zak leapt up and down, waving. Han laughed and waved back. "Energetic little guy, ain't he-"

"Hey! You!" A stormtrooper grabbed Zak's shoulder.

Leia broke into a run. She didn't draw her sidearm-later she would wonder why, why she hadn't, but for the moment she just didn't think of it-and skidded to a halt beside the children. "Amanda! Jayvon! What have I told you two?" She scolded, reaching out. "Don't annoy the troopers, they're working! I'm so sorry..." She waited for the trooper to respond.

"Are these your children, ma'am?" The troopers asked.

"We're her cousins." Tash said, apparently getting the gist.

A wave of dark, of voices screaming as loudly as hers, washed over Leia's mind.

She shuddered.

Vader. No. Force, no.

"Come on, you two." Her voice didn't crack and she thanked whatever was listening for it. "Let the nice trooper get back to his work. So sorry." She took Tash and Zak's shoulder, steering them away.

She couldn't move. Something caught her.

Vader.

Blaster shots rang out, and Luke fired up his lightsaber; the pressure was gone and Leia ran, didn't think just ran, stopping in a room somewhere and shoving her shawl over Tash's head and another one tied around her waist over Zak's and then shoved them out, ignoring Zak's protest of why was she giving this to him, they had to run, to run run run-

Han caught up. "They're on our ass! Luke's holding them off, but we gotta get out of here!"

Leia nodded and drew her sidearm. "Circle around, Luke can follow us." Her mind cleared; she was Rebel leader, diplomat, and occasionally assassin once again.

She opened a door and stumbled out into what felt like an oven.

It didn't burn her, but it was easily a hundred degrees plus outside. Leia turned and promptly was knocked over by Luke, who'd been Force-thrown by Vader.

In more rational moments, Leia wouldn't have thought it, but she wasn't rational. She shoved the door shut and blasted the controls.

"Move! Now!" Leia snapped, turning.

They ran.

The ground was oddly smooth. Pockmarked, but even the small marks had smoothness. Leia knew because she'd landed facefirst on it.

Vader had caught up with them.

Vader alone, at least; Leia sat up and watched Luke battle intensely with his foe. Tash was watching in something akin to wonder; Zak was looking around nervously.

Leia sympathized.

Han groaned. Leia jumped to his side and studied the bleeding leg. It looked broken; Leia had nothing to splint it with, and the surface muscle was torn from his landing on...Leia looked down, but couldn't identify which smooth, acid-washed rock was responsible. The blood didn't show up well enough.

Zak was suddenly there with a bandage. "Hold up, dude. I got this. It'll hurt like you wouldn't believe, though."

Han nodded, gritting his teeth. "Smart kid. Where'd ya-" Han gasped, then continued, "-get that?"

"With what we get into? First-aid kit. Never leave home without it." Zak deadpanned.

Leia wanted to run. She felt as if she should be sprouting wings and leaving the Earth; she wanted to move so quickly nothing could stop her. She got to her feet. She could carry Han-

Tash's hand touched her leg. "No. Wait."

Leia hesitated.

"We need to stay." Tash said quietly.

Leia should have run. She knew it. But even a Force-sensitive as mild as Tash was one to be obeyed.

She knelt slowly next to Tash, waiting.

Tash took out a small chip, toying with it. "Is that..?" Leia asked gently.

Tash nodded, then frowned. "Not exactly. Uncle Hoole had a friend...this is just the first step to finding it. In case."

"And let me guess, only you can open it?"

Tash smiled. "Zak and I both. Insurance policy, I think, in case..." Her eyes drifted to Vader.

Luke hit the ground a few feet away from Han, his lightsaber flying into Vader's hands with a tug of the Force. Leia found herself wondering what would happen if she stuck her hand in that odd stream. Would it feel like putting her hand between magnets?

Vader deactivated the lightsaber and clipped it to his belt, studying them.

Leia almost rose, but Tash left her hand on Leia's.

"...So." Vader rumbled. "The girl is a Force-sensitive." Leia's mental shields slammed down. Vader chuckled, or maybe coughed in a rumble of thunder. "Impressive as ever, Your Highness, but you no longer interest me." Vader stared at Tash.

Tash looked back with naked curiosity. Leia stood. No. No, he was not going to hurt a child. "Is this what you've come to, Sith Lord?" Leia spat. "Frightening children?"

Vader looked at her again. Leia couldn't quite tell what he was thinking.

"That mountain has shelter." Vader finally said, glancing up. Leia saw it, a looming cliff face. "We must reach it quickly."

"Why not go back to town?" Tash asked, frowning.

Vader had no expression, but Leia could almost see him raising an eyebrow. "Because I do not wish to die in acid rain. Unless your Rebel friends wish that same death, they will cooperate."

Come now, Your Highness, Vader's voice whispered in Leia's mind suddenly, Cooperate, and this pain will end.

Leia shifted, covering Tash's body with her own. Trying to change the shudder into something more productive.

Tash stood and walked over to Han. She and Zak helped him to his feet. Luke came to Leia's side and took her hand. Reluctantly, Leia followed.

She felt as if she were tap-dancing at the edge of a black hole.

The journey to the caves was nerve-wracking. Every step was a step in the dance in Leia's mind, a dance on the edge of some nightmare vortex waiting to swallow her alive. When Luke went to help Han, Leia put her arm around Tash, trying to shield Tash's Force-signature with her own, to protect the children at least.

There was shelter in the cliff face; a large, dark cave. Vader looked at it, then began lifting people up, starting with Han. Leia had to avoid screaming when he lifted Zak, and just shuddered when he lifted Tash, trying not to think about how awful that energy must be.

When Leia was wrapped in it, she clenched her teeth to keep the scream silent.

There is no emotion, only peace...

She landed and turned to the others, terror soothing as she realized they were fine. Luke followed, and Vader was the last up.

"Is it just me, or is there wood over here?" Luke asked, blinking and walking over to something.

Tash took out a flashlight. They were...torches.

"Arranda. Move the light." Vader ordered. "Show us the cave."

Tash obeyed, sweeping the cave. It was huge, formed by some flash flood probably, but the walls were lined with six niches, cut like they were meant to be beds of some kind, and a small circle of stones was in the center.

"Go back to the center. Rear wall."

There was a doorway. It took Leia a minute to see it.

"Arranda. Give me the light." Tash surrendered it easily, and Vader looked almost ridiculous with the tiny, slim light in his hand.

He vanished into the doorway.

Lightning flashed. Tash yelped, and Leia caught her flinch. Then there was a hissing, pattering sound of acid rain.

Leia tugged Tash back, away from the cave entrance, and settled down to watch the rain.

Vader wasn't back for hours.

They all had three days' worth of rations, even if no one had more than a water bottle apiece. They ate, and Leia felt the silence, the fear, grow even more oppressive.

She wanted to scream as loudly as the dead of Alderaan in her head did.

She stayed calm, though, for the children. Luke had snapped a few torches into splints, ignoring the Arranda twins' winces; archeological finds were only useful if everyone lived to talk about them. Leia knew they wouldn't, but...

She had a pill hidden in her belt. But only one. It would only take one life, and Leia didn't know which of them to give the quickest way out. She could stand her own death; even stand watching Han and Luke's if need came, but which of the Arranda twins could she stand to save?

How could she ask one to leave the other behind?

Han entertained the twins with smuggler's stories after a while, drawing laughter from everyone. When Zak and Tash were both yawning, Leia ordered them to sleep, in the amused tones of her aunts as they'd banished Leia, in early childhood, from 'interesting conversations' when it was past her bedtime. Zak and Tash complied with a minimum of snarking, a rare treat from teenagers, their shawls serving as blankets.

"It'll be all right." Tash whispered in that quiet voice that meant she spoke from the Force again.

Leai smiled and kissed her head, trying not to let the thought leak from her shields that the only good thing about her death was that Vader, at least, wouldn't degrade any of them or torture them before killing them. Dead women across the galaxy would cheerfully have killed for that chance.

Tash mistook the silence for agreement and fell asleep.

Leia, Han, and Luke were left awake. They all waited, letting the children settle into dreams, before Luke said, "At least he's not gunning for you anymore."

Leia shuddered. "Tash. He wants Tash." The words were a whisper. "After Starscream..."

Han bit back his first response. It had probably been an insult involving Eppon, and Luke disapproved of cursing at dead babies. "And Luke. Death Star."

Luke looked solemn as he nodded.

Leia considered the pill again. She only had one. Han and Luke didn't have even that; Han wasn't high-ranking enough and Luke wasn't given one because no one could bear the thought of explaining that to someone as innocent as Luke was. (Anyway, he'd never use it, even if it were explained.)

Han sighed finally. "Well, guess we'll have to get a good night's sleep." Leia looked at him incredulously. "His Tall, Dark, and Spookiness wants us alive, Your Worship. Gives us three days to escape. Can't do that if we don't sleep." Han yawned, and Leia suddenly felt the pang of agony from his leg as a brush of feedback against her mind.

She nodded. "Of course. Goodnight."

"Night." Luke chimed.

Leia stared into the darkness until sleep claimed her companions. Then she settled down to wait.

The black hole was reaching for her.

Finally Vader came.

Leia left the pill slipped into Han's hand. He'd know; the only pills that were pure black were poison. He'd find a way to slip it into food if Vader chose a specific target.

Leia didn't think she'd be around to see that.

Her premonition proved true enough. Vader stopped near the entrance of the cave and lit his saber, lightning illuminating him for a brief moment. He beckoned to her.

Leia stood. A Princess was never afraid. Bail and Breha flashed in her mind's eye for a moment-soon, soon she would greet them herself-but then she went to touch Zak's head, then Tash's, then to glance a final time at Han and Luke.

Oh, she would miss them.

Leia walked to Vader, head held high.

Vader studied her a moment. "You are afraid, Your Highness."

There is no emotion, only peace. "I have nothing to fear." Leia told him quietly.

Vader would have quirked an eyebrow again, if he'd had one. "Really." Vader turned his head away, watching the lightning flash and the acid rain in the darkness. "You do not fear interrogation? Execution?"

There is no emotion, only peace. "No."

His hand came around her throat, lifting her up. "Do not lie to me."

Lightning flashed again. Could he see the terror on her face?

"Are you afraid?" Vader hissed.

It snapped.

There was emotion. Fear, terror-but suddenly fury, pure hate, and it lashed from her like small knives. "Of what?" Leia hissed, coughing. "Of-of joining Alderaan? Are you afraid-My Lord?" Leia thought of the Arranda twins and wanted to laugh, even gasping for breath. "You'll never kill us all."

He dropped her.

Leia fell on her knees. Wincing, she stood. Even smooth stone was hard to land on.

Vader turned his lightsaber off and walked away.

Leia followed. Hell if she knew why, but she did.

There were stone steps at the back of the cave. Leia felt her way down carefully at first, until a flashlight was pressed into her hands. She nodded something approaching, if not thanks, acknowledgement-her aunts would have never forgiven her for anything else-and turned it on, walking down at a more reasonable pace.

The light flicked off with a thought of Vader's. Leia froze.

A soft blue glow was on the walls.

Leia cautiously walked forward. The staircase was a spiral; at the bottom the glow was strong enough to see by.

The cavern it illuminated put Mimban to shame.

The glow came from two pillars, supporting the roof; there were other pillars, glowing just as softly, throughout the cavern. A small, flat section of floor was before her, or at least small relative to the cavern, with a river running between it and the rest of the cavern.

The rest was filled with shelves.

"They are called books." Vader rumbled quietly. "Not datapads or holodramas. They require no electricity, and were used on planets that had not advanced sufficiently for such things. The Jedi Order kept physical copies of, from what I can tell, representatives of every civilization here...until their demise." Vader began walking.

Leia followed, awed.

The library hummed with...Leia couldn't identify it. Tranquil peace, maybe. The sort of silence that Leia had strived for, in her meditations.

Something felt so artificial about it. Like old plastic, the kind in museums, mimicking real life centuries ago when life could not be found on the planet creating it. It was unnatural.

Vader led Leia across a small bridge, through empty bookshelves. They'd been meant to be filled, Leia realized in sudden horror. Until...

She glanced at Vader.

"Your anthropologist sought this." Vader offered. "I did not know until now why he came here. He knew it presented a risk to the...children he brought with him."

It was a treasure trove. Leia couldn't recognize any of the languages on the shelves; she just looked and looked and felt awed and humbled by them. Her energies dyed the Force around her, gave it soft blue color, so unlike the dark ripple of Vader, who came and left without any stain.

Vader stopped and pulled a book down, handing it to Leia. "You will begin here. When Skywalker awakes, you will tutor him in this language."

Leia raised an eyebrow. She did not take the book. "Why?"

Vader smiled. "You have the Force, Your Highness. And I find myself in need of an apprentice." Vader continued to hold out the book. "Three days will let me decide."

"And the others?" Leia asked.

Vader held out the book.

It was her only option. Feeling a flare of rage again, Leia took it.

The advantage of being a chronic insomniac was that Leia was entirely used to going without sleep at a whim. So as soon as Vader left she carefully put the book back, then got out a famous Corellian treaty on the art of making explosives.

She grinned as she settled down to read.

Slowly, through the night, she became aware of something seeping into her mind. Something that had a thousand worlds, like standing in the midst of a crowd. Something colorful and bright. The books whispered it to her; pain and suffering mixed with joy and victory, a thousand clashing emotions in one room.

It was not the Light Side.

It was life itself.

It took one try to perfect her secret weapon. The question of whether it held out was not one; as Leia had learned from an early age, she could sustain the fire of love longer than any other emotion. Certainly long enough for an hour-and-a-half walk.

She needed practice, though.

No one would be near for hours; swallowing thoughts of Vader deciding to check on her in the wee hours of the morning, she stripped off her skirts and blouse, retying her hair into a thick braid before slipping into the water.

She swam upstream.

Water on Mern-42, she had read, lived only underground; it was filtered out of the acid rains through centuries of seeping through rock. So, logically, going upstream should lead nearer the surface. It was just a question of whether she reached a cave before her breath ran out.

She was no Jedi, but she didn't need to be; she reached the cave just in time, popping out into glowing blue light. This cave had the glowing rock interspersed randomly with the rest. Leia was oddly reminded of Mimban, of the terror that had finally forced her to learn to swim.

Of crystals playing childish tunes, a sweet duet she and Luke had made. Of horrible spongy squares, tasting blander than cardboard with a hint of too-sweet sugar in place of flavor. Of being buried deep, deep within a planet, feeling life around her, knowing she ought to feel safe and warm but instead feeling the knives of her mind sharpen as the screams had only just been settling in...

...in her sights. He was in her sights.

Why couldn't she pull the trigger?

Leia shook the memory away and climbed out.

Sure enough, water dripped from a corner. Admittedly, Leia had to climb carefully up to nearly the ceiling before she found it (and rocks were sharp when they weren't smoothed by acid rains), but then there was the steady drip-drip-drip of fresh water.

Leia held her hand under it and felt.

Her hand stayed dry.

She smiled.

"...I think I'm hallucinating." Han announced cheerfully half an hour into the walk, starting to wake up from the pain of his leg and discovering he was leaning on Luke under an invisible umbrella that knocked the acid rain aside.

"Why?" Luke asked. Han gave him a Look.

"Nope!" Zak interrupted cheerfully. "Princess Leia held a makeshift thermal detonator under Vader's helmet, left him tied up with some rations-don't get why those, she said something about Mimban-"

Luke winced. Leia found her mind presenting her with this very scene to fuel her love; these were her comrades-in-arms, her second family, and this was what made them so: Laughing, talking as they walked through impossibility, knowing that camaraderie had made it possible. She smiled.

"-And then used the Force so we could go back to town!" Zak concluded happily.

"...Kid, we been eatin' any funny mushrooms?"

"Not a one." Tash sounded amused. "Uh, I think this was, uh...supposed to happen."

Luke paused, then nodded. "It feels...right."

"...Good to know." Han said before lolling against Luke and Zak again. Luke and Zak, used to the weight, shouldered him carefully.

Leia felt love of friendship fill her and continued on, under the umbrella of invisible force, protecting all of them from the acid rain.

Leia woke up on the Falcon and fervently prayed it had all been a bad dream.

Tash's sleep-presence reminded her that it wasn't.

They were halfway to Home One, and Leia...Leia was a Jedi, or so Luke had said after they'd taken off, suddenly awed. And they'd stared and...

She wasn't a Jedi. She'd just wanted to keep them safe.

But suddenly Luke wanted to talk about how it was so cool and when she called on the Force wasn't it like the best thing ever and Tash was clearly as starstruck as when she met Luke and Han was grumbling something about how he'd turn up with the Force next, and Leia had gone to bed claiming a headache.

She'd slept. She never should have slept. But she had, and it was, for once, dreamless, because waking was enough.

This wasn't happening.

Leia turned over. If sleep would be dreamless she could at least have that. But it wouldn't come, not really. Her mind was racing with all the things that would go wrong now. For some reason the thought of Mon Mothma and the Council knowing was terrifying; Leia wanted to lock this thing away inside of her, this precious, terrifying talent.

"...Leia?"

Leia sighed and sat up.

Luke walked in cautiously, sitting on the end of Leia's bed. "Han said I might've, uh, kinda chased you off." He admitted sheepishly. "I'm sorry."

Leia blinked, then sighed. "Oh, Luke." She reached out to hug him, and he hugged her back. So innocent and trusting, the poor thing... "I'm sorry I'm such a grouch. I'm just...tired, I suppose."

"You never sleep!" Luke laughed, pulling away. "Of course you're tired!"

Leia smiled wryly. "It's hard."

Luke hesitated, glancing down at his lap, then asked, "Is it...what you said on Mimban? About how...how you can't remember, or..."

Leia sighed and nodded slowly. "It's only dreams." She said, and the reassurance sounded hollow to her ears, a parent speaking lies to comfort a child. "I'll be all right."

Luke nodded, then said cautiously, "I bet I can find some Jedi techniques to help! Their healers knew everything."

Everyone knew that had been true. We were all Jedi, once. So Leia nodded as well, and had a sudden, fleeting impression of children solemnly agreeing that a fairy tale was true.

Luke smiled and hugged her again. "Get some sleep." He urged. "We'll be at Home One in an hour. I can't wait to tell them about the library!"

Leia smiled. She'd sent Luke, Zak, and Tash to go see it while she tied Vader up, warning them they didn't have time to read anything. They'd babbled about its beauty almost nonstop. "I can't either. Goodnight."

"Night." Luke said, and his smile made Leia smile too.

When he left, Leia settled down into sleep again.

This time it took her willingly.

Leia didn't know what she'd been braced for, but Mothma's smile took her completely by surprise.

Mothma stood, got up, and hugged Leia. "Oh, Lelila, I'm so happy for you!" She whispered, still smiling-a real, genuine smile-before stepping back and clasping her hands. "Don't worry. Searching for a teacher for Luke was always a priority, but now it's imperative. I'd like you to take some time off every day for Luke to get you caught up in your studies. Goodness knows we need Jedi now."

Leia...didn't know what to say. Just stood. Staring.

Mothma's mask was near invisible to Leia sometimes, and now she saw the concern leaking through the older woman's eyes. "...But this must be such a shock to you, of course." Mothma tried carefully. "It's a heavy burden, Leia. I have no doubt you will bear it well, and make all of us-and your mother and father, may they rest in peace-proud."

Leia knew the response to that, and gave it automatically. "Thank you, Leader. I hope I can live up to your praise." She hesitated. "If that will be all..."

"Yes, of course. Thank you, all of you, for attending." Mothma inclined her head at Luke, Han, Zak, and Tash.

They were halfway to the door when something, like a wind brushing against Leia's heart, made her turn back and walk over to Mothma. "Mon? Where will Tash and Zak end up? Tash's Force-sensitivity could put her in danger."

Mothma blinked. "There...isn't really precedent..." She frowned. "With war orphans, I suppose. Given her Alderaanian heritage, and how Master Hoole died, they're as qualified as any."

"...We don't have precedent for Force-sensitive children?" Leia repeated. "Mon, the Empire identifies them every day." And slaughtered them; that could go unsaid.

Fire began to burn in Leia's heart. Not rage, never rage, only Sith had rage, but something...passion, perhaps.

Mothma frowned. "The Empire kills hundreds every day, my dear, not just children."

"But there's only one group they're attempting outright genocide against." Leia argued, the fire in her warming her heart. "Mon, we need to offer protection."

"We have been."

"Real protection. Protection they can reach." Leia countered firmly. It felt...oh, it felt so much like being in the Senate again, passionately trying to protect some group or other, to bring some peace through law as well as rebellion. Like being alive. "We can't keep assuming they'll survive to adulthood. It's wildly irresponsible of us."

Mothma blinked again, then slowly nodded. "You know how thinly we're stretched." She warned. "But...I'll see what I can do."

Leia smiled. A real smile. It had been so long. "Thank you."

Turning, she left unhindered.

She was smiling for hours.

Leia yelped.

The remote stung. Her spurt of startled emotion let her swing the saber up-

To block nothing.

"No, Leia." Luke sighed. He was a patient teacher, but they'd been at this for an hour. "Calmly. They're just stings."

Leia sighed and nodded beneath the helmet, trying to let her mind settle. This would work. She could do this, she knew that...if only her damn self-defence training wouldn't get in the way! She could almost hear her teachers demanding constant vigilance.

She reached out, pushing the thoughts aside like waves.

Something...chuckled.

Leia ignored that and pushed the thoughts down...down...do-

Something snapped.

...Oh. It was so calm here.

She readied her saber.

The remote fired. Once. Twice. A third time. She blocked easily. The remote went through a few more shots, then powered down.

Leia returned to a basic stance and turned off her saber.

She raised her helmet, taking it off. Luke was saying something. The remote hovered at eye level, a small black sphere, waiting.

She raised the saber and cut it in half.

There were twin cries from Han and Luke, and Leia barely had enough awareness to turn the saber off and throw it away before she turned it on herself. She turned and walked away.

She went to the nearest airlock.

They locked automatically. She had no intention of keying in a code. She just stood and looked at the door. She looked for a long time.

Finally, her hand reached out to key in an override.

Leia lay still for a while.

She was...restrained to a bed. In Med Bay. Luke and Han and Chewie were around her, as were a few of Rogue Squadron; they'd adopted her as their own, given how close she was to Luke. She remembered...they'd taken her away, after she'd triggered the alarms, oh, they'd been so red...

She'd struggled, as they'd tied her down.

She hadn't spoken. The medics had, demanding answers ("Princess! What's wrong?"), but when they'd finally brought Luke and Han, Han had roared at them to get away, shielding her with his body before soothing that it was all right now, she was safe, it was fine...

And then he'd sat with her. His presence had demanded silence.

He'd held her hand. Luke had gently stroked her shoulder. Leia had shuddered at the touch, but now the gentle touches were safe, comforting.

Leia glanced up at Luke. "...I don't think I'm cut out to be a Jedi, Master." She teased.

Luke laughed, actually laughed, and so did Wedge and Han and Chewie. Leia managed something soft, but heartfelt.

"I'll go tell the medics." Wedge said cheerfully.

"What happened?" Luke asked, wide-eyed, as Wedge left. "You just...you went blank, and I thought maybe you were attuning to the Force, but..."

"Never mind that now." Han interrupted, glaring. "Are you farking insane? What were you kriffing thinking? You went for the kriffing airlock!"

Chewie growled something. ...'Stay quiet', maybe? Leia shook her head. She was getting stupid about this Force thing. Next thing she knew she'd be wandering around trying to make prophecies.

Everyone looked at Leia expectantly.

"I...I don't know." Leia admitted. "I...pushed my thoughts away, let myself go into the Force, and..." Leia shut her eyes. She'd barely noticed the restraints before. Now they seemed to fill her mind. "I couldn't stop myself."

Han's hand squeezed reassuringly, rubbing gentle circles on her palm. Leia opened her eyes, refusing to let fear take her.

"I...I've never heard of that." Luke whispered in horror.

Chewie woofed something that needed no translation. He had.

"So what'd your people do?" Han demanded.

Chewie said something longer. Leia couldn't make sense of it. Han interrupted. "Whoa, whoa, what ceremony...yeah...yeah, I've heard of that, but isn't that...well, it's Her Worshipfulness, of course it'd work." Leia frowned, and Han sighed. "He says it probably won't work. Some kinda ceremony of purification. Drives demons outta ya." Han hesitated. "It, uh...he might have a point. Um, no offense, but..."

"Didn't the Wookie Purification Ceremony kill the anthropologist who tried it?" Luke asked, eyes wide.

Chewie nodded sharply. Yes, he added, along with something that probably made out to 'I am not condoning its use, but some modified version...'

"Thank you." Leia said quietly. "I doubt it would help." She'd heard of the ceremony; apparently it revolved around a hallucinogen so strong it killed anyone but Wookies. The only other options for humans were things like spice; Leia point-blank refused to try drugs to deal with this. She was Princess of Alderaan. She would not succumb to that temptation.

Chewie growled sympathy. Leia smiled in thanks.

"Well, so long as you're better," Han said, deciding he'd had enough seriousness for one day, "Whatcha say we bust you outta here? You look like you need a good meal or two."

"If you try to convince me to eat Corillian again..." Leia threatened teasingly, smiling.

Luke snickered.

Leia abandoned Jedi training. The episode didn't occur again.

It took less than a week for the understanding-and disappointment-to reach Mothma's eyes. For the Council to make subtle condolences. Leia accepted them gracefully, and in some sense gratefully. It was over. Soon, life would return to normal.

They were already starting to rescue Force-sensitive children. The option to train was exactly that, an option, but Luke found himself already leading a class. Tash's stash of holocrons, claimed at long last, was teacher enough for all of them.

Leia wished them well.

Then, one night, nearly three weeks later, she found a large container, the kind meant for luggage, on her bed, with a note atop it. Leia read it carefully.

Uncle Hoole said to find someone who would respect these. The Sith are in power now, he said, but that doesn't mean we can spit on their legacy, any more than we can spit on the Jedi's. I think you'll understand more than I do. If you can't care for these, please find someone who can.

-Padawan Arranda

Leia opened the box.

...Holocrons. Hundreds of holocrons. And a datapad. Leia didn't need to look; it would be filled with the Sith teachings, the transcripts from the beautiful library hidden on Mern-42.

The history of the Sith was in Leia's hands.

* * *

><p>A\N: Leia in canon should, and probably does, have PTSD. That's transferring here, although her method of coping with it will be...unique.<p>

For anyone wondering, Mern-42's name comes from Mern, the letter M in Aurabesh (the Star Wars alphabet), and the number 42. Read the history of Aurabesh ( dot com/ wiki/Aurebesh); explore Messier objects, which the 'M' was inspired by (en dot wikipedia dot org /wiki/ List_of_Messier_objects); or read about the number 42 (en dot wikipedia dot org /wiki/ 42_%28number%29) by removing spaces and replacing 'dot' with a dot.


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